I am finding this blogging experience to be filled with many ups and downs and in-betweens.
There are the times when I am flying high, grasping tightly to my creative reins and galloping to the end of a draft. I can barely concentrate on the speed with which my fingers hit the keyboard, their audible click the only sound in my quiet home. There is only one voice here, one narrator, and she is confident and true with her words.
There are the in-between times. These are the times when I am preoccupied. I am at work or I am at home and I am busy. There are always things to do, people to take care of, places I need to be. But, at the back of my mind, there is a flicker of an idea, just a soft suggestion of something to write about. By the time I am freed of my responsibilities, my eyelids are heavy and my brain is numb.
And, there are the down times. The times that self-doubt, hesitancy and fear are banging on my mental door. I do not know why they are seeking my attention – they are not invited guests. Dutifully, I do my best to ignore them but even their knocking has an effect.
I am finding that the best cure, for these down times, is to reach out and read. It was dalaradwan who wrote she felt “naked” when she wrote her blogging101 Task #8. And it was patternsofsouldevelopment who wisely commented that “The only bad writing is the one you never post, because it gets to be rejected before it’s born.” The more I read, the more I realized that everyone struggles with pushing that publish button. We are all fighting our own internal battles about what, and how, we should be saying things here. We all dared to do the unthinkable – start a blog! What were we thinking? Now our thoughts are exposed, we are “naked”. We have followers – what do they expect? What would they like to read? Will this piece appeal to them? What kind of comments will I receive? Or worse yet, what happens if I don’t receive any?
Yes, I can talk myself out of anything within a matter of minutes.
So I continue to read, becoming mesmerized by everyone’s openness and willingness to share pieces of themselves. I feel comforted and inspired by all of you. But this one post really makes me smile. It seems to ease my anxiety and releases the pressure I put upon myself. I hope, if you are ever having a down and doubtful moment, that it will help you too.