Us

I have been trying to recall how we came to be

trying to remember when you were just you,

and I was just me

Forgive me, but my memory is a little bit hazy…

I remember long looks at the grocery store

And then came the post it notes on my door

You remember when we first connected

how my body reacted was quite unexpected

Months passed by as we got to know one another

friend to friend, lover to lover

Then chaos came knocking on our front door

It rattled our foundation and crumbled our floor

You remember all of the anger, pain and misery

I found a man with morals, standards and integrity

(Trust me, this is not to be taken lightly!

These qualities are not found in everybody!)

Do you remember those days, how we hid ourselves inside?

Revelling in our bodies, there was nothing left to hide

We consoled ourselves with only our skin

we were young and adventurous

and living in sin

We spent years inside that sensual bliss

But the impact of the strife, I couldn’t dismiss

It became too much for me to bear

I decided to leave, not because I didn’t care!

It was just a little too much for the younger version of me

I think you understand, it was part of my destiny

How many times did fate bring us back together?

To reignite our flame and keep us connected to one another?

And even though we spent those years apart

We couldn’t ignore what was truly in our hearts

I couldn’t foretell our future, how our story would unfold

Until we met again that day, in the middle of the road

Somehow we intuited it was now or never,

to combine our lives and be together forever

From that moment on

I have never regretted it

Yes, you drive me nuts!!

But that’s to be expected

Looking back now,

anyone can see

Honey, you and I

are just meant to be

💋💖💘💝💞❤💋💗

 

 

 

My Blogging Life

Friday

The first post in my reader is a lovely little piece by Lynn. This woman constantly amazes me. She has such a giving heart, her support and encouragement for all of the people she has met here is never ending. Honestly, I feel a little like Olaf because my heart melts each time a person bestows a bit of kindness to me. Thank you, Lynn.

After a conversation with whatsandrathinks, I am fantasizing about a luau in Hawaii. Pig roasts, palm trees and pretty little drinks with umbrellas poking out of them. This reminds me of Paula and how proud I am that she finished her race there. Just thinking about her post makes me smile (and cringe).

During my lunch hour, Nissetje has me holding my phone to my belly and laughing so damn hard that I can barely type out a response. LMFAO is an apt  description. Seriously, I am still getting the giggles just thinking about it.

The boss leaves and it’s time to turn on some tunes. I check out SOB and my eyes become misty. I can’t help it because I know all too well, exactly how they feel. I plug his songs of the day into You Tube and am amazed by Alabama Shakes and Dawes. How is it I have never heard of them before?

When I come home, I squeeze my family for a few minutes longer than usual. Hubby is surprised. “What has gotten into you?”

I shake my head a little and smile. It would be hard to explain how my mind has been all over an emotional map today. “Just life,” I say. “Just glad to have you here.”

Reviving Lost Traditions

It begun with the Christmas tree – a small, three foot artificial that my mother had bought me many moons ago. As I pulled down and plumped up its synthetic limbs, I couldn’t help but remember the day I entered my apartment and found it set up for me. I was being rather humbugey that year, refusing to succumb to the conventional need of decorating. She had snuck into my humble abode, adorned it with lights and miniature ornaments. I still remember the pleased expression on her face when I hugged her, thanked her, and told her it was beautiful. It was something I hadn’t realized I had needed that year.

Mom’s miniature Christmas Ornaments

“We used to go The Property and cut down a tree every year” my hubby says from behind us. His eyes have taken on a glassy, far way look, akin to a person who is trying to retrieve the last vestiges of a dream.

“We did too, that first year we were together. And you picked out the homeliest looking little tree. We brought it home and set it up in the corner…”

“…and those two cats…”

“…would use the rocking chair as a launching pad to hurl themselves into the tree…”

“…there were pine needles everywhere…”

“…and you swore that you would never have a mess like that again…”*

“When we were kids, we used to travel all across the country visiting family.”

“Us too. And mom would drag out the gold plated china on Christmas Eve…”

And so the memories flowed, the way they do every Christmas. Our voices soft and dampened with a slight touch of sadness as we remembered the celebrations of long ago.

*It was the last year we ever had a real Christmas tree. It was also the year his father passed away. Strange, that it took me this long to make the connection.


 

I spent the better part of last week prepping and preparing for a melancholy-free Christmas. As a stepmother, there were just certain areas of life that I did not intrude upon, and Christmas was one of them. It wasn’t that I didn’t try, or that my attempts were met with scorn – they would, at least, bravely stick out their tongues to sample the dishes and  admit that they weren’t too bad. It just wasn’t their thing. They couldn’t taste the warmth I was trying to recreate. Truth be told, neither could I. And that was probably more the reason why I didn’t continue on with them.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA
The Property, 32 acres of bush, 8 acres cleared for a campsite

And we did make it out to The Property this year. We went, as a family, when my youngest step-daughter came home for Christmas.(I cannot tell how great it is to be past the teenage years.)

We hiked through the forest. We talked. We laughed. We reminisced about how things were and we all agreed that we should go out there more often. It was a pretty great Christmas for us this year. It was the first year, in a long time, that we were able to look back at the past without having it degrade the present. We were able to generate some of the warmth that this holiday season should be filled with and created some tender memories to help carry us through till next year.It was more than my little heart would have hoped for.

Please excuse my absence…

…but my internet connection has been a little wonky this last week. I keep watching those little blue circles, waiting for your posts to load, and they are actually beginning to make me nauseous! It doesn’t take much time to pass before I start to contemplate doing thisEyes

because I actually think it would be less painful! You have to understand that I am not a very patient person! So before I do something completely irrational like this

Computer fist

I thought I should just leave the blogosphere alone. I promise to be back to my commenting/posting/ reading savvy as soon as this problem is rectified. I hope you are all enjoying your weekend! Happy Sunday!

* A very special thank you to the artistic and articulate Del Nolan for collaborating and providing the artwork depicted here. Please take a minute to read more from this lovely author! You can find his site here*

 

And So I Weep

I keep thinking

 tragic events

should not overtake my soul

with such shock, pain and disbelief

any history book would support my claim

it is part of our heritage

passed down through the generations

the desire to obliterate

eradicate

innocent souls

to dominate

to gain control

to strike fear into the living

for complacency

perhaps to perpetuate the violent cycle

for the “justified” retaliation that will ensue

And so I weep

for fallen soldiers

legions of armies

for the families

for the people

devastated by  horrific events

I feel their screams of pain

their tears tear at my heart

burdened with their grief,

I weep

lest we forget

our “civil”izations were built upon rivers of blood

bodies thrown into pits

discarded

like litter

Lest we forget our history

of the darkness that follows our footsteps forward

plant poppies in Remembrance

seeds of love

understanding

acceptance

cooperation

unity

FORGIVENESS!

 

Lest we forget

where we have been

and what we yearn to become

Until then,

peace will be a fallacy

In solemn remembrance

for everyone who has been lost,

or has lost,

anyone or anything

at the hands of another

my heart bleeds for all of you

And so I weep…

Understated Road Trips

Does this ever happen to you? You go through life forgetting to do things that you enjoy? You become so busy with your responsibilities and day-to-day tasks that you forget to do things that connect yourself to a part of your personality, your character? And when you re-experience them, you say to yourself “I have forgotten how much I enjoy doing this, I should do this more often!”

When I was younger, my parents took us all across the country to visit our relatives. I was the youngest, and smallest; my designated spot was on the floor of the backseat while my brother and sister stretched their legs over me. I had slept so much during those trips that when it came to be my turn behind the wheel, I didn’t know which direction to go. When I became old enough, I rented vehicles so I could relive those experiences. For me, I enjoyed the drive just as much as I enjoyed the destination.

What is it about a vehicle that is so liberating? Is it because it is just you, a steering wheel and miles of pavement rolling beneath your feet?  This is where I play the music is so loud that the rear view mirror trembles and my heart simulates the beat of the bass.  This is where I practice my chair dancing techniques and play invisible musical instruments.  This is where I reconnect to my childish self, the momentum of the music urging me to sing at my worst and act the silliest.

The understated road trip – something I have neglected to do in the last few years, but definitely something I should be doing more of.

It’s Tuesday, so here is a tune for you. I have to give the radio credit for overplaying popular songs – by the time I returned home, I had learned this down pat. Elle King – “Ex’s and Oh’s”

Need to Stay Awake

Do you have any tips on how to stay awake during a conference? Here is what I have come up with so far…

1. Arrive late. So late that there won’t be a seat for you during the first speech. This ensures that you will have to stand, awkwardly, at the back for the first forty-five minutes and you won’t be tempted to close your eyes and drift off into lala land.

2. Wear uncomfortable clothing. Yes, you look hot, but those pants are really too tight and make it difficult to breathe after you gorge out on all of the delectable snacks that they have laid out.  Who can fall asleep if they cant breathe? Also, if it is close to Rememberance Day, wear several poppies with pride. Every time you move, you will receive a sharp poke that will remind you to keep your eyes open.

3. Drink a lot of coffee and water. Frequent trips to the bathroom provide a nice break from monotonous dialogue. If you are moving, you are not sleeping!

4. Go for a jog outside, like Phoebe – arms flailing in the air, heels kicking out to the side. I haven’t done this yet, but I am sure it would work.

5. Write a blog post.

6. Text your friends and ask them  ‘wsup?’ Their drama will entertain you and you might receive a spectacular surprise like I did when Nora sent me this

image

Somehow, feeling great negates the need for sleep.

If you have anything to add, please let me know. There are still 5 hours to go and most of tomorrow to get through…
Hope you all are having a fabulous weekend!!

Happy Halloween!

the pumpkin we carved
the pumpkin we carved

I was hoping my daughter would sleep through her sugar crash last night long enough to post this…

Sometimes…

…sometimes I just want to write. I do not want to care about content or saying things that actually have any meaning. I do not want to care that it is Sunday morning here and not Saturday and it is no longer Halloween. If I had to adhere to time restraints, I may not ever post anything…

I think I have been suffering from TMI with all of the blogging tips that have been floating around here lately. I began to have daymares about speaking to all of my followers. Public speaking is one thing – there is usually an educational aspect to it and if I am passionate about a subject, I can pull it off. Here… a little different since I have to rely on my own imagination…

The one thing I have come to realize is that, in actuality, I am a very private person. And writing, for me, is an extremely intimate thing. I am connecting with that voice that is otherwise silenced by my need to do’s, should do’s and should have done’s.

The other aspect is time. There really is so much that I want to say but I am having trouble carving out those minutes I need to put them somewhere…

There you have it. A little ramble, just me overcoming some obstacles of time, content, and communication. Happy Sunday!!

 

 

 

Join Automattic’s Worldwide WP 5k 2015

Ahhh! I should have reblogged this when I found it on Friday but I was on my app. (Why did they remove that option??) It is not too late to join!!

Never A Dull Bling

I’m up for this challenge!!  Who else in the running, walking, wogging community is up for it?!

Automatticians, members of the WordPress community, and bloggers around the world come together for our annual run.

Source: Join Automattic’s Worldwide WP 5k 2015

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